I got into the skincare biz because of my acne. But looking back on those years of my life, it was more than just acne that was making me unhappy. It was that I firmly didn’t believe I was beautiful, I didn’t think I could be loved until I was beautiful, and I didn’t think I could be happy until I was beautiful.
I have only realized the truth I’m about to share with you recently, and it is amazingly powerful. And really hard. It is the thing that we don’t want to do, and many of us go through our entire lifes not doing it.
Nourish body. Nourish skin. Nourish heart.
To have beautiful skin, we’ve always been told that we need to feed our body well (greens, whole foods and water) right? and we need to feed our skin just as well (just buy moss and you’ll be fine. ;)). But there is one thing missing. It is not enough to feed our body and our skin to have beautiful skin. We must also feed our heart. The Ayurveda tradition believes that our emotions are so interwoven with our bodies, that until we are blissful, that sun-bright radiant, inner glow of absolute, haunting, head-turning beauty will continue to elude us.
If we are happy, we change the entire chemical makeup of our bodies. You better believe that there are very real, scientific things that happen when we’re happy in our hearts that makes our skin happy and calm and glowing. This is the secret – we – especially all us women – must nourish ourselves emotionally and take this task very seriously. We are meant to be bathed in love. We are, by nature, creatures of nurture and emotion.
If I could go back, I would say to myself, THIS is your life. It is your ONLY life. It is NOW. Stop waiting for the future. Work with the present. Make the present beautiful. My mom is such a beautiful example of this. Growing up, we didn’t live in a shack, but we didn’t live in a mansion either. But my mom made our house so beautiful with whatever she could find on sale or at the thrift store, or with the art we created or with the amazing garden she grew. She worked with what she had instead of waiting for some future magic to come rescue her. And the result? We grew up surrounded with beauty and life. And guess what? The mansion never really showed up, so thank god we just accepted what we had. Acceptance leads to love. Love leads to bliss. Love and bliss make life full and regretless.
Beauty. Now. Nownow!
You must do the same with your emotions and your heart. Your life may change one day, but don’t waste the time you have just waiting and hoping. Nest. Nest in your own body, in your own skin now. Love your own body and your own skin NOW. Nourish your emotions. Take care of yourself.
You are probably feeling some, if not quite a bit, of resistance now, right? Like: NO. I just want my wretched acne to go away. It feels impossible to ignore it or even crazier, love it! Or: Yeah, I guess I can do this, but I don’t believe that loving myself or doing some silly exercise around my emotions will make my acne disappear and that is all I want.
Forget about your acne and your wrinkles and all your other skin woes for a sec. This is not about them. This is about YOU. You are the most important. Skin will change. If you don’t have wrinkles now, you will one day. If your skin is full of acne now, it won’t be one day. But to give yourself the emotional nourishment you need, it is life-changing. Imagine being a plant with no water, and then one day getting watered. Your life will change. And I want to give you 3 very concrete ways to begin to give yourself that invaluable emotional nourishment.
1) OWN YOUR DESIRE
If you want to be beautiful, do not walk around saying “I will be beautiful.” Say “I AM Beautiful.” Take it. Own it. Did you know that I also counsel women recovering from eating disorders and one of the most powerful things we do is we start to say “I AM Recovered” instead o f “I am recovering.” Do you see the difference? What do you want to be? Beautiful, smart, feminine, wealthy? Take it. Say it as though you ARE that thing RIGHT NOW. You will call it to you. What we visualize, we magnetize. Remember, the key is to own it, not hope for it. You ALREADY have it – that is the wording you must practice. I AM Beautiful. Say it right now, if even in your head silently: I AM beautiful! Hell yes, you are! So two things here: Identify that hope you have, the quality you want to be. And then make it yours with these very powerful words.
2) Connect to your Highest Self
This is a fun one. When I say the words “your highest self” what do you even think? Is it easy to picture that in your mind or do you have no idea? What does your highest self look like? What is a “Highest Self”? Your Highest Self is the best, most authentic, most vulnerable, most fearless, most loving, trusting version of you. How do you connect to your highest self? Imagine the qualities your highest Self has. Imagine what your highest self would do in difficult situations or confrontations. Your imagination will introduce you to your highest self. What does your highest self’s perfect life look like? A different career? A different mate? A different attitude? What does your highest self value? What does your highest self desire? Your highest self is NOT your perfect self. It is the Self that is most comfortable and happy with Herself, her life, her people, her choices. It is the self that is living in radical authenticity and love. Begin to connect to your Highest Self every day just through imagining and exploring in your mind what she is and what she wants. Then simply invite Her to journey through the day by your side.
3) Listen to your needs
Ever forgotten to eat cause you were so busy? Or just lost your sh*t on someone at the end of a long, frustrating day? So often we go through life so fast and busy, not only do we forget to take care of basic, physical needs, but we definitely don’t check in about emotional or subtler needs. So every day, at least once, stop and ask yourself: “Do I have everything I need? Is there anything I need more of? Less of? How is my energy? How is my mood? Am I being taken care of? If not, what do I need? More sleep? More love? More hugs? More me-time? More quiet? More space? Ask, ask, ask, ask – keep asking! And then listen, listen, listen! Keep probing and keep listening. One of THE funnest things is to realize you need something and HANDLE IT. You feel a) really good, because a need has just been met, like how good drinking water feels if you’re super thirsty but you also feel b) really proud that you took care of yourself. It’s that same shot of endorphins you get from watering a plant or helping an old lady cross the road. But really take the time to check in. This is not a “How are you?” “I’m fine.” exchange. It is more like: How are you? Hmm, how am I? How am I really? Is that everything? What else? Long, slow, thoughtful, honest.
All three of these things have talking to yourself in common. Talk to yourself. Yes, like a friend, like a mother, like a loved one. Tell yourself what you want to hear from others. Be your own muse, your own guide, your own shoulder to cry on, your own best friend. Nourished Heart = Nourished Skin
Guys! You’re the best! xxx